Don't fear the Reaper.

Ok so I know it's been a minute and that isn't because I have stopped working out. Truth is, my workouts have been sort of standard so I didn't feel like there was anything ridiculous to write about. Until now.

In a mini update: I have been swimming and jogging (mostly away from creepy guys that walk around Greenbelt Lake) with my cousin. The only small newsworthy story might have been when I got into a verbal tiff with a stranger at Greenbelt lake about the real estate industry. Strange, I know.

But here I sit now, with pains in my stomach that make me confused on whether I want to eat lunch or yak it up. How you ask? Let start with a brief background clip- my sister who is half my size (height and weight) has been doing P90x. Not once, not twice, but this is her third round. And yes, by now she is cut. It's quite motivating to see. So we have recently finished up our belly dancing classes and I mentioned that I needed something good for my abs, well, since I have no abs right now. She offered up one of her P90x dvd's called ab ripper x. I kindly now refer to this as grim reaper x. I really had no excuse to not do this dvd other than all the excuses I told my sister as to why I hadn't done it yet. She'd ask me on a regular basis, "have you done the ab ripper yet?" Me: "No, ummm, I had to unpack... umm then I got tired." Right. That was all I could come up with. Sometimes, I managed to pull out a "already went for a swim, don't want to overdue it." Shame. Shame on me.

So last night as I sat in my humble abode surrounded by boxes I couldn't throw out since I don't know what day my recycling picks up, I realized that there was no time like the present. That and I was running out of excuses to give my sister, I almost resorted to "I broke a rib", I know, right? I knew I had to be stopped. So I pushed those boxes to the side, laid down a towel, and turned on the grim reaper x dvd. What a mistake. Maybe a good mistake, later I will thank myself for the good I am doing, but right now...I hate myself. Ugh. So it starts off not so bad, you do some leg cycles and some sit up combos. I'm thinking, I got this son! Wrong. I couldn't have been more wrong if I was on Maury Povich looking for anything but my baby's daddy. On to leg climbs, which pretty much means climb up your leg while its in the air. Next came this weird position I laid down in and then had to awkwardly lift my butt off the ground. It was all downhill from there. It ended with some crazy side switch thing where I had to hold my legs off the ground while touching my clasped hands back and forth on either side of my body. Yeah that was the end, not the beginning.

By the time he said cool down, all I could hear was "try not to die." Which is exactly what I did for the next 45 minutes. I laid in "child's pose" as recommended by the instructor as I reached up to grab my cell phone to call for help. I couldn't get off the ground... how was I going to sleep? I could sleep there, right? Whatever, priority number one was letting my sister know that I put a hit out on her for this brutal sabotage to my body and she would pay for it later. I gave her the old "I'm bigger than you" nudge. Yeahhhh that'll show her. Too bad I can't actually do anything about it since I can't get out of child's pose. When I finally made it to my bed an hour later I spent another 45 minutes just laying there trying to decide whether I really wanted to try and fight my sports bra off because my arms hurt so bad or if I could just sleep in it. Arlene quickly pointed out via Facebook chat that it would only be harder to get it off tomorrow so unless I wanted to go to work in a hot pink cross back, I should get to work on it now. Success followed with a possible dislocated shoulder.

I spent the rest of the night not even rolling over in bed because it took muscles I no long have to use. And now? Yes now I sit here with pains in my stomach that make me confused on whether I want to eat lunch or yak it up. The worst part? I am going swimming tonight and then I have to do the grim reaper x again tomorrow. Eeek! The good news??? I have officially lost 6 pounds! I know its probably a curse to announce that to soon, but after last night I have decided to bask in it. Expose fitness to come- they have a free weekend class and I am inviting all those who want to join me in my stripper/chair workout. Don't all jump at once.

More to come! Wish me luck- I just won some free yoga classes in Bethesda, and we all saw what happened to me the last time I went. Yeesh.

-Sara